Hello again

Looks like it's time to start putting up some new posts! Maybe change the decor, update some links...

I note with a little bit of sadness that Bondage Blog has removed me from their featured links - can't say I blame them though, as I haven't really posted about bondage for quite some time.

So what's going on out here for me? Well, there's Rafe and I in the process of figuring out how to rework our relationship so we are less of a couple. Part of that involves some active date-searching; I've got two internet ads up but have yet to summon the energy to reply to any of winks or send some of my own. Sooner or later though, my friends will get fed up with my stagnation and feet-dragging, so I need to de-hermitize and start actively setting up dates! It's a bit terrifying really, since I've never really dated at all shhhh and I still don't know what to do with my weird and crazy mix of sexual experience (Kink! orgasms! sex blog!) and sexual inexperience (um, so, I've never kissed anyone, is that going to freak you out?) However, I've got that annual dr. appt set up and I intend to ask about IUDs.

Dating also brings up anxiety about weight - I want to weigh less. I want to weigh what I used to weigh before I did crazy food experiments in an attempt to be healthy, not an attempt to lose weight, but still I ended up with the yo-yo effect of rapidly loosing weight and then rapidly gaining it back plus more. Goal: lose approximately two pounds a week. We'll start with a three month time frame, but really ultimately I want it to be nine months solid. Eat less, exercise more they say. I feel like I've been trying that for a while, why am I still gaining?

Then there is the bit about figuring out how to tell my mom that my faith is changing, that I'm not going to church, and I do not subscribe to her conservative fundamental version of Christianity. This is sure to be devastating, but I really need to do it. My family doesn't really talk about anything important with each other, and it would be really easy to keep just not saying anything while the gap between what she thinks I'm like and what I'm really like keeps widening. But I don't like dishonesty, or fragmented living. So I'm going to work on a letter - you may get to see a draft.

So there you go, a little catching up. Hopefully the posts will get more frequent again - thanks to all you folks who still keep popping in once in a while to see what's going on!