you could be anyone

Hmm, I just noticed that Feb and March each had three posts. Not quite once a week! The writing may pick up again, we'll see!

So anyway.. along with not writing as much, I'm also not reading blogs as faithfully as I used to. So it was a bit of a surprise to pop into Bliatz's blog and find out that Patty had confessed that her married life chronicles were Made Up.

Now, Patty was one of the first bloggers out there to link to me when I was a fledgling blog - right after Dave, if memory serves. And I feel a certain amount of gratitude to Patty for being nice to a newcomer, and adding me to her links, and in general being generous to other bloggers. She could also write some hot stories!

She was also very prolific. After a while, I stopped visiting every day, and just popped in now and then. Some of her stories and essays seemed right on, others just didn't hold my attention. However, it never crossed my mind that she wasn't actually married to Fred. I have tried to keep my blogroll populated with blogs that seemed authentic (real people, with real relationships and struggles) and also speak to me in some way. Patty had enough sincerity to get me at least a little interested, although I found I was connecting less and less as time went on.

So how did I feel about this revelation? Somewhat surprised, but certainly not devastated. (Not bereft in the same way I was when Amber decided to close up her previous blog and stop blogging for awhile - that blog was unabashedly real and was speaking right to me!) Certain posts or over-the-top responses of Patty's now made more sense. My feeling less connected to the blog now made more sense.

I feel bad for those that feel betrayed by a friend, but I do not feel so betrayed. Because really, you can be anyone you want on the internet. People are both more honest (just look at the stuff we sex-bloggers write!) and less honest (how many pseudonyms are out there?) online. I generally expect that the blogs I like that purport to be about someone's life are really more or less genuine reflections of that person's life - but I'm not going to be super surprised if they are not. I would have more difficulty if a good friend of mine I knew in real life revealed that they had been lying about stuff. But online? It's part and parcel of the environment that shit is being made up.

So, Patty. I'm a bit torn on whether or not to leave the link up. It appears that she is still writing erotic fiction, which is one of the things she was good at. And she was welcoming to me when I was new. But
Bliatz and Amber have expressed some valid points, worth considering. Like the fact she took donations for her (fictional) dead child. Or that the general, unhealthy commenting atmosphere hasn't changed. So, we'll see. Really, I hope that Patty gets the help and support she needs, and is able to make a life for herself that does not completely revolve around being online. Addictions are powerful, and scary.